Today, this is my Favorite day.

Instagram...what's there to say about it.  Probably one of the most popular social networks in use today.  Actually, coming in second to Facebook, Instagram holds that spot for people 18-34 years of age as being the most popular app used on a daily basis...150 million people visit the app daily, with 16 billion pictures shared and 1 billion likes.  Thats every day.  Pretty incredible. 

And for me, I am one of those users.  As much as I hate using it, I still find myself scrolling through that feed, letting the pictures lead my thumb to likes and comments.  I tell my wife every now and again that I wish I could just get rid of it, along with every other social network I use because of the some what need to check them every minute of every day.

But there is something to say for it.  The cool thing, is that I can go back, relook at my feed, and remember the times in which each picture was taken.  They take me back to times in my life that were important enough to post for the world to see.  To pictures like this:

11.15.2013 This was the moment that I made the best decision that I could ever make.  

The moment I asked my beautiful wife to "merry" me (don't worry about the misspelling...just had to be there).  Palms sweating, heart racing, I walked my wife out of the 9:30 church service to this lawn where I continued to stumble over my words as I dropped to one knee.  Nervous for the answer she would give, I sat smiling as tears rolled down my face.  With a yes, she stuck out her right hand (the wrong hand) for me to slide that ring on her finger.  I instructed her on how things were normally done, and took her left hand.  Grateful everyday for the path God has led us down.

And then to this:

05.01.2014 This was posted the moment that Mercedes and I decided to embark on an adventure that would change us forever.  

I can't tell you what the best thing is for marriage, since I am no genius, but I do know that moving 27 hours away from family and comfort to a small town in rural Kentucky for my first job in ministry at a place called Southland, has done nothing but challenge and strengthen our relationship.  It has been difficult...it has been hard...but most importantly it has been the thing that shaped our faith and reliance on a God who will never fail us.  A God that provides and loves His children.  

Oh, and that picture on the bottom...that is from our honeymoon.  She was smiling because we just went scuba diving and she was about to eat some yummy food.  Of course, Mercedes smiles whenever food is coming so there is nothing surprising about this picture.

Next on the feed:

06.03.2014 Mhmmmm...this was taken just 12 days before I got to celebrate my first Father's Day, and also the day before we left for Kentucky.

It had been a long morning of golf...as I returned home, sweaty and parched, I walked into our empty home from packing for Kentucky and discovered a card on the dining room table.  Tearing through the envelope, I opened my very first Father's Day card from my wife stating that I was going to be a daddy.  My wife ran down the stairs, crying, and we wrapped each other up and cried together at the fact that we would be parents.  The excitement was overwhelming, and just thinking about it now, tears begin to fill my eye sockets.  

Like I stated, this was also taken the day before we left to drive across the country to our new home.  Needless to say it was an emotional night.

Onward:

06.15.2014  This was the very first picture that I ever took of our first home as a married couple.

This house is filled with so many memories...all 900 square feet of it.  I remember putting up that American flag and thinking, "Man, this is really happening.  My dreams are coming true."  A wife, a baby on the way, a home and a new career.  What else could I ask for...as far as I was concerned, my life was beginning to shape into the life that I always had dreamt of and wanted over the years.  

And then:

07.09.2014  This one right here is for you baby girl.

This was the moment that I first saw you forming in your Mother's womb.  We cried and cried in that doctors office on 3rd street, thinking of the moment we would finally get to meet you and see your beautiful little face.  We prayed, and prayed, and prayed for you to love Jesus and grow healthy.  I just want you to know that your mother rocked it through pregnancy...no, she killed it.  Strongest woman I have ever met.  Although through this time, you gave your mother some sickness, cramps and pains, you also gave her some cravings for soda, ice cream, chocolate and spicy food.  This was a plus for dad because this means I got all these things to, with no guilty feeling...I was doing my duty.  Needless to say, you were a blessing from the very beginning for both of us.

And then, and then:

08.04.2014  We decided that we couldn't wait for Fenway to come, so we thought adding another dog to our compound would be a good decision.

Meet Hurley.  We picked him up far out in something called a holler.  I had only heard of these in country songs previously, but now I can firmly state that I have been to one.  A bit sketchy...following a beat up 4-runner out to the middle of nowhere to pick up a baby Australian Shepherd that we had only seen in pictures.  I could of been driving to my death for all I knew, but it was a success and picked up this little bundle of joy who has been a hair pulling, stress giving, blood pressure raising child that we love to death.  We are grateful for dogs and the unconditional love they share.

And then, and then, and then:

11.04.2014  These students right here are some of the most talented, Jesus loving, caring students that I have ever met.

Like I said previously, moving to Kentucky was due to getting my first job in ministry at a church called Southland.  These are the students that fill the ministry I have grown to love.  Every single one of these students in this picture, and I mean "every" one of them, has impacted our lives in ways that we could have never imagined.  For instance, that kid in the middle, curly fro hair do, that is Leighton Colwick.  Most living, caring, feeler in the entire world.  Love him.  Or the girl in the back with yellow sleeve, that is Hannah Draut.  She loves the ministry...I mean loves it and has given her weekends and Wednesday nights to serving the Kingdom of God.  Or what about that red head down front, that's Katie Johnson, and she has been the best dog sitter that we could of asked for...not only that, but her entire family (father standing in back yelling "YEAHHHHHHHH") have been an incredible family to us, showing us love in so many ways.  And this is just naming a few of them...they have all been more than a blessing to us.

I won't say and then again:

11.22.2014  Exciting, yet, scary moment for me.

Found out we would be parenting a daughter.  For some reason, I had just always pictured having a boy...when I thought about being a dad, I though of sports, and Legos, and camping adventures...fishing and all sorts of things with my son.  But I can tell you that now, I am even more excited to do all of these things with my daughter.  I can't wait to show Fen what a man looks like...I can't wait to be the first man to call her beautiful.  I can't wait to come home from a long day and have you run into my arms.  I am so, so, so excited to watch you grow old Fen.  

Almost there:

12.19.2014 This was my wife at about 7 months pregnant.

She is absolutely drop-dead gorgeous.  And that is merely all I want to say with this picture.  That my wife is drop-dead gorgeous.  I mean look at that belly button poking out.

The best one of the year:

02.10.2015  Fenway, this was taken the day you were born,

You are my prize baby girl.  You will always be my baby girl.  I remember this day like it was yesterday.  We arrived at 6:30pm on February 9th, at Ephraim McDowell Medical Centre on Main and began what would become two of the longest days I had ever experienced.  Your mother began labor right when we arrived, and the pain was excruciating...well, I guess I wouldn't know but I could tell by her yelling and facial expressions that it was not great.  I can still see those hospital halls passing as the hours passed.  Countless walks up and down...up and down...holding your moms hand as she squeezed it for dear life, thinking they would never pass.  And then the hour came...the hour my life changed forever.  I watched you leave your mother and straight to her chest.  You laid there, in warmth, feeling your mom's lungs expand with yours...what a sight to see.  The love of my life, holding our daughter.  This was a moment I have been thinking about since as long as I could remember.  

Through the complications and struggles over broken clavicles and ribs, you persevered and made it through.  I am so proud of you and can't wait to watch you grow into a beautiful woman of Christ.  You are going to change the world Fen, and God will use you in amazing ways.

Last one, I promise:

05.10.2015  I posted this 5 days ago.

This is the mother of my child.  She celebrated her first Mother's Day this year.  I would just like to share the impact you have had on my life.  I am stubborn, greedy, impatient, careless, self-centered, one-minded, angry, lost and irritating.  But you still love me.  Sometimes I wonder why, but regardless of the reason, I still get to fall asleep beside you and wake up to your beautiful self.  It is amazing the love that one person can show to another.  It is amazing that love you can feel for another.  You show me the love of Christ daily, and I can not imagine my life without you doing it with me.  Literally, as I look back over the last year of our life, I can not think of what it would be like if I was alone.  I feel like you have been with me forever...even when I didn't know you, I feel like I still knew you.  That seems weird I know, but you are the better half of myself that keeps me going.  You push me through and guide me into the unknown, knowing that everything is going to be ok.  Thank you for pursuing me daily and loving me when I do not deserve to be loved.  Our girl is a very lucky girl to have a mother like you.  You are da bomb diggity.  

So there it is...that is a year in the compound to date.  I hope this comes of some interest to you, and if not then I am sorry you read the whole thing and got to this point.  

Gandalf the Grey, a wizard in Lord of The Rings, states at the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring, 

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to."

Yes, this is describing himself on an encounter with Frodo Baggins, where he accuses Gandalf of being late, but I can not help but relate this to life as a whole.

Life is going to happen exactly how it is suppose to.  We do not know what is to come or where the path is going to lead.  We think events come to early, and don't understand why they are taking forever.  We pray for a wife, long for children, hope for change and wish that it would come when we want it.  But that is the beautiful thing about life...it is never late, nor early, but arrives precisely when it is meant to. 

Do not get caught up wishing.  Enjoy where you are...enjoy the spot you find yourself in today.  As I look back over these photos and the year to date, I realize that this year has been awesome.  Crazy and full of change, but awesome.  Wouldn't of asked for it to be any other way.

A.A. Milne, author of Winnie the Pooh, wrote this dialogue in a book,

"What day is it?" asked Pooh.
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day." said Pooh.

I pray that everyday is your favorite day.

Until Next Time,

-JTD-

You Make Me Brave.

Fenway Eden Doyle everybody.  (She look just like me...obviously)

In 14 days she will be three months old and I can not believe just how fast she is growing!  Its amazing to think that just three months ago, we had no idea what she would look like, or what her personality would be, and now she has grown into this beautiful daughter of ours.  For those who may not know this, when Fen was born, she had a broken collarbone and four broken ribs, all on her right side.  It was one of the scariest moments of my life, knowing that this was extremely rare, and that she may have a bone disease that could cause her to have very brittle bones.  Our hearts were broken for her, as she cried in pain, but through the many prayers of family and friends, she was ok.  I now ask that as she grows into a beautiful daughter of Christ, that you would continue to pray for her relationship with God.  That as she grows, she would continually seek to fall in love with Jesus, making Him the sole purpose of her life.  With the distractions and trials she will face, we know how hard it will be for her to remain strong in Christ through all of it.  We want Him to be number one in her life...not myself, nor my wife or any of our family.  But Him solely.  This is what we want most for our baby girl, over anything else, and we would love to have y'all praying with us for her growth in Him.  





















This is my other child.  You can pray for him not to be a psychotic, hyper, and crazy, dog.  Makes me want to pull my eyelashes out sometimes.

1992 chevy pickup truck was my very first car.  I got it when I was 16 years old, right as I got my drivers license.  It was my grandfather Chuck's, then it was my fathers, and was then passed on to me.  Was an amazing truck and lasted through the ages.  But as of last week, I did sell this truck and I will now be riding around on this bad boy for the next couple months...





















It is going to be quite the ride (pun intended) and I am excited for the new, simpler way of commuting.  Excited for the new adventure.

Just recently, I was left alone with my daughter for a good four hours, just hanging out while my wife was at work.  As I flipped through Netflix and glanced at the multiple options of movies/TV shows, I came across a movie that I could probably watch every single day...World War Z.  Was this a good flick for my daughter watch, probably not, but again she is only three months old.

If anyone has seen this movie, you know that it is nothing short of excitement; quite a nail bitter.  Or maybe you hated it.  But as for me, I thoroughly enjoy watching this movie.  I do not know what it is about it, but I love it.

There is one line in the movie that I absolutely love.  If you have not seen it, I am sorry for spoiling this part, but about 20 minutes in, Gerry (Brad Pitt) and his family find themselves in an apartment complex hiding from zombies, trying to make their way to the rooftop, where a helicopter is waiting for them.  Overnight, they stay in a little apartment, owned by a hispanic family.  Before Gerry and his family leave in the morning for the rooftop, he begs the family to come with them.  That there is safety, and they can make it out of the city.  But the family insists on staying...they think they are better off.  And here is the line the Gerry responds with...

"I used to work in dangerous places and people who moved survived and those who didn't...movement is life.  Movement is life."

Gerry was ultimately referring to his time of service in the United Nations, but everytime I watch this movie, this line catches my attention.  Movement is life...movement is life...movement is life.  Another spoiler, but the family that stays behind in the apartment, any guess as to what happens to them?  You got it...they die.

Now for some of you, this may be a stretch, but, this statement easily transfers into my walk with Christ as I continually search to be more and more like Him.  That hispanic family, they had a choice to make...move out in danger with Gerry and his family, searching for help, or to remain in their apartment and literally wait to die.  They chose the later, but I am sure they didn't actually think they would die.  They probably assumed they would be just fine and safe living with the resources they had.  When I look back at my walk with Christ, I see this statement, movement is life,  littered throughout the whole thing.  See, as Christians we are called to go...we are called to move...we are called to invest in the unknown.  Step into uncharted waters...like the beautiful song "Oceans" states, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, where ever you would call me."  God teaches us in His word, that He will lead us out into uncharted waters, but He will always be with us.  We could remain...we could live the cautionary life, but wouldn't we just end up like that hispanic family? Dead...lost...never putting our trust in God and allowing Him to lead our lives.  Ultimately, we end up thinking that everything is fine, when in fact, the life we seek can only be found in movement...moving closer to Him.  And before you know it, we are further away from who God is calling us to be than ever before.  All because we wanted to stay behind, play it safe, putting no risk before us.  

My prayer for all of us is that we will not stay put.  That we will not continue to live a mediocre life where we choose safety over risk.  That we would move.  That we would seek Christ in all aspects.  That we would look to serve Him and serve people, whatever it costs, because movement is life.  Paul writes in Philippians 4:4, 

"Rejoice in the Lord always; I'll say it again, rejoice!"

No matter where your life may take you, Rejoice.  Rejoice.  Rejoice.  I am going to end with the beautiful lyrics of a song Bethel has recently wrote.

You make me brave.
You make me brave.
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves.

You make me brave.
You make me brave.
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way.

Remember you serve a God that is capable of all things, and that God is good, even when life isn't good to you.  Don't be a result of lack of faith and movement.  Be brave.

Until Next Time,

-JTD-

The Blue M&M

I have heard it said that patience is a virtue.  Well that is a virtue that I do not have.  I am incredibly impatient, and have been ever since I can remember.  I like schedules, plans and organization, and when things don't go to plan, oh, do I lose it.

Ask my wife...I grumble when we are getting into the car 1 minute late.  You know what they say, "If you are on time, you are late."  Well for me, if you aren't ten minutes early, you are late.  It's a sickness, I know.

Also, my wife, she is incredibly patient.  When I think of someone who can wait any amount of time, without ceasing, or change in attitude, despite the circumstances, it is her I am thinking of.

As many of you may or may not know, we have recently given birth to a child...well I did not give birth to one, but I was in the room.  Close enough, right?  Anyways, for those of you who have a child, you understand the incredible patience it takes to raise one.  The crying, diapers, sneezing, boogers, puking, spit up, dry skin, and that is just the tip of the iceberg.  The other day I went to give my little Fenway Eden a kiss on the lips, and she spit up INTO my mouth.  Yes, onto my lips and then onto my tongue where all of my taste buds are.  This has definitely been one of the hardest seasons in my life, due to my own flaw.  For those of you that know me, my impatience can cause anger, bad decisions and rude remarks.  So to say that this has been difficult is an understatement.

Look at this face.

I get to wake every morning next to the woman of my dreams, being the best mom in the world, to our beautiful daughter.  How can I be impatient with something like that?  I find my greatest sadness in going to bed at night, knowing I was impatient at some point in the day with my wife or daughter.

I don't want to be someone that looks back and thinks, "Why was I in such a hurry?  Why did I constantly seek to have things done exactly as I pleased, and only that way?"  The past 3, going on 4, weeks has been a blur, and my impatience didn't help.  I don't want to miss the little things because I have bigger things on my mind.  I don't want to miss the snotty noses, the blown out diapers, the spit up covered onesies, the dreaded bath times, the nail clipping, the cries, the whines, the hiccups, the sneezes, the laughs, the smiles, the kisses...the small things that make my day exciting.  I don't want to miss that.

If I could give any advice for soon to be parents, coming from a parent who was once a soon to be not to long ago, it would be this:

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank rolls smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."

I have come to realize this, and it has taken me a few weeks.  Don't let these times slip between your fingers.  You only have your first born one time, and I am telling you, it is the happiest, most joyful and unforgotten experience you can ever imagine.

Soak it in.  These are the best days of your life.

On this note, I have been at home now for three days, alone.  My wife and baby girl flew off to Phoenix on Thursday for our grandfathers funeral, and I will not be meeting them until Tuesday.  It has definitely been a struggle just lounging around, cooking frozen food, talking to myself and learning that only male bonding I get is with my dog.  I guess you really never know how lonely you can be until the people you are closest with are out of sight.  Needless to say, I can not wait until Tuesday...the day I am reunited with my family.  And you are probably thinking, "Its only 5 days.  Relax."  It's the longest 5 days I have ever experienced.  Pre-season for college soccer was 14 days, and this seems ten times as long as that, and there is no conditioning or puking involved.

But there is one really cool thing about being alone, thoughts left to wonder on their own.

Silence.
Rest.
Peace.

These three things have allowed me to do something that I have not done in quite awhile.  They have allowed me to listen.  And not just to anything, but listen to God.  Psalm 46:10,

"Be still, and know that I am God."

This is the first time in a long time that I have actually been still before God.  Not that I do not do it intentionally, but my life has gotten so busy that even in my quiet time, my devotional, my reading, my worship, I fail to be silent and listen.  Instead, I talk.  I talk about my needs, my wants, the things I need from God.  Rather than realizing that God is all I need, I assume I need other things on top of Him.

This is my challenge to anyone reading this: don't let the business of the day cast out your alone time with God.  Don't let our running mouths shut the mouth of our Savior.  God has something very unique for all of us to hear.  I don't know what it is, or when you will eventually hear it, but He is saying something to all of us.  It's just a matter of opening up our ears and listening to what He has to say.  Don't be so naive to think that you don't need God or His guidance.  It is often in these times that we will fall, and lose track of what is most important.  It is often times stated that,

"You don't realize Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have."

I pray that He is who you run to.  I pray that He is who you call on in times of trial.  I pray He is the only thing that can fill you up. I pray that His love is deep enough, His grace wide enough.  I pray that you will let Him in.  I pray that He changes and restores your life.  I pray that Jesus is all you have.

Just the other day, I had a pack of M&M's. And quite frankly, I don't usually choose this candy in an assortment of candies, but these were not just any M&M's...these were Dark Chocolate M&M's.  Anyways, as I opened them, I became irritated that there was only one blue one in the entire pack.  First, blue is the best color M&M, second, everyone knows that the colors taste different, and third, no other color can come in close comparison with blue.

If you are going to tell me that you do not rate your candies based on color, I know you are lying.

Well, I began to eat the M&M's, first the yellow because they are horrible.  Then the orange and red, because they match (kind of), then the green and finally I ended up with the one blue M&M left.

My wife is like this blue M&M among all the others.  When I first saw that blue M&M, I knew it stood out, I knew it would be the best, and I knew that none of the others could compare.  They wouldn't even come close.  So I savored that blue M&M and weeded all the others out so I could simply enjoy that blue M&M.  My life was weeded with a lot of stupid things, and as soon as she came along,  those things did not seem as important.  I am thankful God sent me this blue M&M.

I am thankful that she chose me and that I get to spend the rest of my life with her.

I am excited for the adventures to come.

You the real MVP babe.

Until next time,

-JTD-

Inner Desires to Love

"GET HER OUT OF ME," are the last words of labor my wife mustered up as our beautiful baby Fenway entered this world at 8:05am, on February 10th.

I can remember praying as we were about to begin a process that one can not truly understand until being in the moment.  I worked my way through a prayer broken by tears, gasps for air, an excited heart, and countless thoughts on whats to come.  I lost all recollection of anything going on outside room 224, not knowing what would come in about 40 minutes, and as I opened my eyes, it began.  Not understanding what to do, or where to put my hands, I eagerly awaited my little girl.  As the pushing began, and the intensity inclined, I can recall thinking that there is no way I could ever gain enough strength to put my body through this.  The constant contractions, sweating, cramping, and mental blocks would have pushed me over the edge, but she pushed right through it...and I mean right through it.  My wife was a champ and owned those labor pains.

Forty minutes later we were looking into the eyes of a beautiful creation of God.  We conceived our child, and my wife simply carried her, but as for her "creation", that credit goes to the man up stairs.  Weighing in at seven pounds and fifteen ounces, she brought immediate tears to my wife and I...for those of you that know me, I cry at a lot of things.  This is by far the best cry I have ever had.

And like I said earlier, there is no words or metaphor...analogy or simile...that one can use to explain an event such as this.  And to add, watching a child being born, is probably one of the most humbling, in awe moments one can experience...and by "in awe", I mean in awe of Christ, and His love for you and me.

I have always understood love.  I have always had love for those in my life...my family, my friends, and those around me...but I have never understood love from a fatherly standpoint; and there is none like it.  Before Fenway came, I assumed it would take some time for me to fully grasp the idea of being a father.  That it would take some time to change my life, the way I think and all the things in between.  And I was quickly mistaken.  The moment I saw her...from the moment they placed her in my arms, I realized something...."We love because He first loved us."  We are all children of God, adopted into His family.  We have been granted access to the Father because Christ loved me...he loved you...so much that He gave up His life for us.  We now can have a relationship with God.  Not saying that one can not understood the love of God until having a child, but, being a father only gives me a glimpse into the love that God has for His children.  I can not imagine my life without Fenway, and I have only had for twelve days.  God has been longing for you since the beginning of creation, and one can only imagine His love for you in that He could not imagine His life without you, so He sent His son for you.  It is an amazing thing.  The love of God is unmeasurable, and I am so thankful that He loved me enough to pursue a relationship with me.

My wife and I have have been given an incredible blessing, in that we get to show that same love to another person.  We get to pour the love of Christ into Gods creation and allow her to feel the same acceptance, love, grace, and forgiveness that he has showed us.  I am thrilled to say that my life has been changed forever, and that things in the Doyle Compound are going to get a little crazier.  Here is to Fenway and all the joy she will bring to those in her life.

I became more of a man two nights ago.  I built a bed...an actual bed.  Well more like a platform bed, but nonetheless, it was great.  My buddy Dave Rizer and I built it with just $50 bucks and it turned out to be just what we were looking for.

We started with 2x4's (which are actually 1 1/2 by 3 1/2) and some plywood.

Then we put everything together (frame, legs and support beams).

Added the wood on top...

It was finished.  Actually came out just how we wanted it, and needless to say, it hasn't collapsed and killed out dog that likes to get underneath it yet.  I would consider it successful.

Over the past few weeks we have had so many visitors coming and going to see baby Fenway, drop off meals, and help with anything during this very busy time.  Among those people were some really important people...family from Phoenix.  First we had Mercedes mom Dawn and her father Rudy come and stay with us for 10 days, through the delivery and the process of bringing her home.  This was so helpful and much needed, as sleep would be a treat in those first few days and having them around to help with food, burping and rocking was awesome.  Right after they left, my mother Natalie and her fiance Kevin came into town.  Having them here to also cook meals, take time watching the baby, and be around for support was extremely helpful.  The only downside was this...

We had record breaking snow here in Kentucky, and we could not leave our home.  As you can imagine, 6 people stuck in a 900 square foot house, to many episodes of "The Office", only so many things to eat, and over played card games can creates cabin fever after the first couple hours.  The upside to this was that our dog has never been in snow like this and he was having a blast.  He tried to eat it, roll in it, jump around in it and hopped like a rabbit through it all.

While this snow storm, or as they were calling it around here, "The Snowmaggedon", continued through Wednesday of last week, I picked up a book that I have been wanting to read that had just come in the mail.  It was written by Timothy Keller and titled "Prayer".

The back of the book explains prayer as "...how God gives us so many of the unimaginable things he has for us.  It is a way we know God, the way we finally treat God as God.  Prayer is simply the key to everything we need to do and be in life."  On beginning this book, it was a high concern of mine that my prayer life is not up to par with where it should be.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 states, "Pray without ceasing."

I have ceased and need to remember that communicating with God through Prayer is one of the most important things I can do as a Christian for my relationship with Him.  To sum it up, I went to God like a consumer, hoping to gain something that I wanted, rather than going to God as a an adopted Son just to be in His presence.

Keller writes early on that, "Prayer is the way to experience the powerful confidence that God is handling our lives well, that our bad things will turn out for God, our good things can not be taken from us and the best things are yet to come."

He also writes, "The problem is that if God is not the starting point, then our own perceived emotional needs become the drivers and sole focus of our prayer."

Both of these excerpts strike me on two levels:

1. I don't always believe God is going to make bad things turn out for good and that the best is yet to come.
2. I pray many times for what I want and what I need, rather than praying to be close to God as a sole provider in my life.

Am I saying I get it wrong all the time? Surely not, but more often than not, my prayers end up like point two above.  I begin to forget that God has sole control over what is going on in my life and has a plan for what is to come, so in response I pray that he would fix every single, little problem and every emotional turmoil.  I turn my focus away from him and his Sovereignty and providence, and turn it towards selfishness, greed, and personal gain.  

I think it all comes down to the idea of performance.  We pray because we feel like we are lacking in areas, failing in others...simply God get us out of the mess we are in.  But through the Holy Spirit, we know that our relationship with God is not based on performance, but is based on a parental love.  A love that is so strong, it doesn't matter what we do, it will never cease.  When we cease to believe God has complete control of our lives, God doesn't.  When we cease to long for God and His comfort, God doesn't.  When we cease to stop pursuing God, he never ceasing to pursue us.

Let our prayers be filled with praise and worship.  Let our prayers be focused on the one whom through Him all things are possible.  Let our prayers be words of relationship and love...not words of mechanical restatements, and rehearsed sentences.  Let our prayers come from inner desire to communicate with our Creator, rather than circumstances that force us to pray.

Until next time,

-JTD-