My Paradise is Changing with every Breath

I use to get lost in the paradise that I assumed I wanted.  I was lost in the normalities of society, thriving on the things that gave me satisfaction in the time being.  I was young and foolish.  I was looking for life in all the wrong places.  Sex, drugs and rock n' roll seemed to be the motivators for a lot of our world, and while I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place, my thought and perception of life changed.  

Now I find that my Paradise is changing with every breath I breathe.  2014 was nothing short of great, and if I were to magnify my paradise down into the paths I have walked, you would find this...

My dearest Baby Fenway Eden; you will be 35 weeks this Friday.  

It is crazy to think that just 7 months ago, I was walking into my living room, from a day of golfing, to a Happy Fathers Day card sitting on the kitchen table.  Surprised and ecstatic, I broke into a joyful tear as your mother walked down the stairs, laughing and crying.  You were but a little bitty thing, only a week old, but my love for you was ever so great, and has continued to grow since the day you were created.  It's funny the way God works some times.  His timing is impeccable, as we found out of your existence the day before we left for Kentucky, our new home.  Nervous and scared of what the future might hold for us there, it all seemed to slow to a halt as thoughts of you and what you might become, filled our minds. 

I received these as a gift 2 Saturdays ago, at your baby shower, and I still get goosebumps just looking at them.  Soon, your warm feet will fill the closely knit yarn of these soft shoes.  The first pair of shoes your feet will ever fill, but it will not be the last.  

I can not wait to witness the uttered first steps of an uncertain baby, or the mumbled words that come from your Cheerio filled smile.  To have you crawl into bed with us and cuddle because you feel safe, or to feel the soft kiss of your lips on my cheek.  

I can't wait to hold your hand.
I can't wait to brush your hair.
I can't wait to call your name.
I can't wait to tuck you in at night.
I can't wait to go to Father/Daughter dances.
I can't wait to teach you to ride a bike.
I can't wait to take you on adventures in the woods, or help you cast your first line.

What ever it is, you are going to grow into a beautiful young woman and I pray that as you grow, the love in your heart will also grow.  The love for your Creator, the love for people, the love for adventure and new beginnings, and the love for the unknown.  

Genesis 1:27 says, "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female, He created them.

You were created for a purpose.  You were created to fulfill something that is so much greater than anything we could ever muster up in our simple minds.  You are going to bring so much joy to those people who choose to surround themselves with your presence, but more importantly, you are going to bring joy to your Creator, the Lord.  He longs for you.  He is constantly pursuing you, and I pray that even now, as your grow in your mothers womb, that you would feel the warmth of His love.  That you would seek His comfort beyond all else and know that His path for your life is more important then that of this world.

I love you so much Fenway Eden, and I can not wait to meet you, face to face, and bring you home.  You are going to be a legend.

And this is what 7 months, going on 8, looks like.  

I have the most incredible, beautiful wife ever, and with 2014 coming to an end, I can only imagine the happiness she will bring me in 2015.  

I am excited for date nights and late nights,
sleepless nights and ridiculous fights. 
Baby whines and fine wines,
new fears and joyful tears.
Bottles galore with room for more,
little clothes and shoes in rows.
Stroller rides and ocean tides,
rocking chairs and crazy hair.
Changing diapers and hanging pictures,
taking our daughter on little adventures.
Happy dogs and fire logs,
making dinner with the mom-of-the-year winner.
Carving pumpkins and putting up lights,
singing lullabies deep into the night.
Wrapping you up and holding you close,
putting in time for the things I love most.

You are going to be one hell of a mother, and I know that our daughter is going to be a better woman because of you.  There is something about you...the way you look, the way you talk, the way you laugh, that has a way at getting the best out of people.  Doesn't matter the mood I, or anyone for this matter, is in, you have a natural tendency at brightening the day for anyone around you.  And I am thankful that I get that treatment everyday.  Thank you for being the best wife/mom that anyone could ever have.

Plus, you go really well with a nice, steaming cup of coffee.

When was the last adventure you took?  Are you seeking Gods beauty outside the confinement of your home or office cubicle?  I sure do hope so because God doesn't intend for us to live our life out of the 6x6 box we tend to spend 75% of our time in, assuming 42.7%  of that 75% you spend sleeping.  You are meant to explore and indulge in the goodness that God has created around you: nature.  

Just recently (9 days ago) I had the opportunity, again, to go on a surf trip with my bud Bobby.  Mr. Pete's hamburgers, Pipes for breakfast, Starbucks, 2 days and a hunger for a good time.  This was by far one of the greatest ones yet, and although short, I got to experience God in an entire different way.  

A short 1.5 mile walk to 4 breaks known as Trestles...Uppers, Lowers, Middles, and Churches.  Beautiful waves, long lefts, long rights and great split peaks.  70 degrees with light winds off shore.  Four of some of the most well known breaks in the world, it brings you back to what life is really all about.  The idea that life comes and it goes, as the tide trickles on the beach, but no matter what tide it is, low or high, we are called to enjoy it.

You know, one of the characteristics, if you will, of Trestles is that there are these rocks right as you hit water that you have to pass through before you can paddle out.  Jagged, rough, slippery from algae, and irritating none the less.  I don't think I have ever paddled in without a cut or two on the pads of my feet.  But without these rocks, without these obstacles, it wouldn't be Trestles...it wouldn't be the surf that so many around the world flock to.  

A few weeks ago at my church, we heard a video testimony of a woman who at an early age, suffered from a stroke.  It was a rare genetic disorder that caused her to have a stroke at 25 years old, with no signs of anything being wrong.  She had no idea it was going to happen and as a result, she almost died and lost a lot of mobility that she once had.  To top it off, she has just had a baby 6 months before that, and was adjusting to a new life with her husband.

She said something simply remarkable that has been circling my head for the past four weeks coming out of that video:

"We have been very blessed to suffer at an early age, so we now know how to live the rest of our lives."

Who says that?  Blessed to suffer?  I don't think I have heard but maybe 2 people in my entire life say that.  Often times, the first reaction to suffering that one can conjure up is anger; hatred and confusion.  Why would this happen to me? How can God allow this to happen?  This is not how I planned my life to be.  But thats exactly right!  You didn't plan your life and as I stated before, the plan God has for our lives is much more important than anything we can muster up.

Jesus says in Matthew 5:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."


This lady and her husband suffered hardship.  They suffered struggle and major life change, but the fact that they have changed the course of that challenge into something good is amazing.  To see that they now can live their life knowing that through suffering, their love for Christ has grown tremendously, is what God wants us to see.  You are meant to suffer, and life is not a free ride.  Life is its own beast, throwing curveballs and right hooks.  And you can't escape it, no matter which way you go.

Duck dives are a life saver to surfers, to say the least...a perfected art.  It allows one to push under and through the wave, with their board, rather then going over the white wash, which causes a lot more hardship and struggle in getting out.  You can chose to push through life, fighting back or struggling with the white wash.  It's your call. 

And like the rocks in Trestles, sometimes you have to walk through rough spots to get to something really great.  And once you are there, those little cuts don't seem so bad anymore.

Now, with all that is coming this year, I wish everyone the happiest, most fulfilling New Year.  Remember, one thing is for sure, we are all just passing through and in the words of Oscar Wilde:

"To live is the rarest thing in the world.  Most people exist, that is all."

Don't let this...

...be your destiny.

Make 2015 the best year you have ever had.  See you on the other side.

-JTD-

A Dose of Friends in New Places

Francis Chan puts it best this way, in his best-selling book Crazy Love..."If my mind is the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount that I can scoop into my little can."

You know, Thanksgiving has been one of my favorite holidays through out my life, from my adolescence to adulthood.  Every year, since I can remember, I have always stayed the night at my Grandma & Grandpa Bowman's house the night before the big day, and then woke up super early to start the cooking (stuffing, turkey, etc.), accompanied by the Macy's Day Parade of course.  This literally went up until last year.  And I tell you, this past Thanksgiving (4 days ago) things changed.  Being across the country, this tradition has ceased, for the time being.  To be honest, it was pretty sad waking up in a cozy bed, rather then the floor in my grandparents house to the smell of simmering butter and onions in the pan.

But as they say, when one door closes, another opens.

This lady, well her name is Shannon Colwick (one on the right), she invited us to travel with her to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with her family, since we would not be going to AZ.  Her two kids came too.  They are awesome.

And the journey began.

A 7 hour drive mixed with bathroom stops, fast food indulging, excluding Chik-Fil-A because it is not considered fast food, and a ridiculous detour to find a gas station to find that the pumps were not working due to ice, landed us on the front door steps of a home with open doors.  To be completely honest, I was a little nervous.  Not because I was going to spend extended time with a co-worker, cause we all know how that sometimes turns out, nor because I felt like I was intruding on family tradition but because it can sometimes feel awkward being the only two people not "part of the family".  The only two out of 16 who knew nobody.  

But when you are greeted with a hug from almost everyone in the family, ushered in with coffee, bags taken from your hands, and a bedroom to yourself, its hard to not feel like "part of the family".  And the remainder of the trip was nothing short of an extension of love and sacrifice so that we would feel at home.  The Moll's and the Colwick's opened up their home to my wife and I, and I will forever be grateful for the Thanksgiving that they gave us.  There is so much in this world and in our lives that we fail to give thanks for.  Friends are one of those, and I got to extend my family a little bit further this weekend.  

If you get to the point of reading this, thank you so much for what your family did for us.  It wasn't just a simple act of allowing us to come into your home, two strangers, eat your food, play with your baby, play your instruments, drive us around, and make arrangements for us.  It was the way that you showed Christ in what you did.  It was the way you showed His love through your actions towards people you didn't even know.  I do not know when we will see you all again, but I promise you this, my gratitude for your family is overflowing.  You are the perfect example of who Jesus was calling us to be in John 15..."This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."  Your love has shown me how to love, and has modeled for me the kind of home and family I want to be.

Thank you so much.

Excuse me while I wipe my tears.

Well, if you can even top that, Chicago, the city, was awesome! Mercedes and I had a blast walking all over the place...you know doing tourist things, like staring up upon the skyscrapers for seconds, allowing people to pick pocket us when ever they pleased.  I even asked when a train was boarding, as the time flashed in front of my face and the conductor looked at me like an idiot.

We went to the bean...

And to Willis Tower...to the top for $20? Yeah, right...ain't no body got time for that.

This cool sign...

And finally one of the best things we experienced in the city....a deep dish pizza.

I mean this pizza took 45 minutes to cook! And it was smothered in one of the best tasting sauces I have ever tasted, and filled with this mozzarella. We couldn't even finish it...and we had left overs...

Me: Hey man want some pizza?

Homeless man: Yeeeeeeeeee dude. (As he zips up his pants from peeing on the front of a convenient store in the centre of downtown Chicago).

Quite odd, but the man was hungry nonetheless.

Then we came across this guy right here....playing the sax like a boss.

He has so much spirit in him.  Lively and joyful just playing Christmas songs.  It was awesome and was joy to listen to him.

Lastly for our trip, we got to take a train into the city from Naperville where we were staying.  It is about a 50 minute train ride in.  Not bad at all, considering it was a train, with concrete seats, but not bad. This was the view coming in...

We are sitting there on the train, plenty of open seats all around us on that car, and this man decides to sit right next to Mercedes and I.  And for a long time he didn't say a word.  Then he speaks up,

"Do you know when the Harlem exit is coming up?"

I replied, not being from the area,

"No sir, I am sorry."

"Thanks", was his reply.  And the silence began again.  A few moments later, we noticed him holding his phone out about a half an inch from his face as he tried to read it.  I leaned over and stated,

"I looked it up.  You have about 6 more stops till Harlem."

"Thank you sir", he replied as he opened up a bag of Doritos and began to enjoy his ride.

About 15 minutes later, he leans over and says,

"Excuse me, are you guys married?"  Thrown off by his question, I replied with a stumbled "Yes."  And he went on to talk about how the Spirit was moving in him that morning to talk to us.  He asked if we were believers and went on to discuss his life and the events that followed.  That he had, had 3 brain tumors removed in the past.  That he was born and raised in Chicago.  That he had a Doctorate in Foolishness as he chuckled.  That he was heading into get a job.  And about ever 30 seconds during this talk he would say,

"Mmmmm Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy", and out came Scripture.  He probably quoted 25-30 Scriptures on that train ride, and then when Harlem came he was up and gone.  He left us with this simple statement as he left the train,  "What encouragement do you have for me today?  See there are negative and positive charges running this train right now, as their are negative and positive forces driving you.  Which force will you follow?"  And I was left speechless...I poured out something I can not remember and he was gone.

Back to the quote from the beginning of this blog...the Francis Chan one..."If my mind is the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount that I can scoop into my little can."

Take time and read that.  Read it again.  And again.  Do you understand this simple, yet fairly complex quote?

See I can try and try and try to fully comprehend God...I can so desperately try, but the truth is I can never fully understand God.  If I could, then He wouldn't be God.

But let me tell you something, going back to every single one of the experiences I talked about in this blog...the Moll's, the homeless man playing sax, and the man on the train...I have added a little more to  my can on who God is, and who I am suppose to be.

God is a lot of things, that I will never fully understand until the other side, but what I do understand is the way people pursue their lives with the intent of glorifying God in every situation, no matter the circumstances.  NT Wright says, "It's not whether Jesus is God, but what God is doing in and through Jesus".  And the awesome thing is that God is doing that same thing through you.  God is using all of us for something...we are apart of a big story.  Just like a word is a part of a sentence; a sentence a part of a paragraph; a paragraph a part of big story.  Every one has a purpose that God has created in them from before they were created.

And through these people I saw Jesus...I saw God working in and through their lives to bring joy to others.  To bring encouragement and love.  And I am thankful for that.  I have begun to pray that God would open my eyes to see His works around me and in my life, and I would ask you to do the same.  Don't get so lost in this world that you can no longer see the majestic beauty of your creator.  Which force are you going to follow?

I leave you with this simple lyric from Elevation Worship...

Now the party has begun,

Come and celebrate this love,

Cause our God already won

Now were dancing to the sound of Freedom.

I pray that you believe that today and that you will begin to see that you are a part of this big story, this party.  You don't have to do anything but show this love to others.  Be Jesus to people and allow God to work through you, bringing glory to Him in the good times and the bad.

Until Next Time,

-JTD-

**Pregnancy Update:

6 Weeks to 30 weeks...

Dang she fine...and she mine.